pregnant and i can t stand my husband

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I explained that the sooner they could give the gift of space to each other, the better. We ended up writing out a contract of how to conduct ourselves around one another and each party signed it. All rights reserved. My doctor put me off work due to being a high risk pregnancy. When I was reviewing what my client was telling me, I felt sad for her but also realized her emotions were all over the place. There is a very big difference between an annoyance and an actual problem. Things have to be his way almost all the time. What if I put it like this? Why should I feel attracted to him if he criticizes me and finds fault at the least little thing he thinks I did wrong. Now it feels like he is smothering me and I can stand it. I can't stand my wife. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. Pick & choose your battles. Everything doesnt require criticism or needs to be addressed. Set boundaries. I went out after work with some colleagues during our first week back in the office after lockdown. I can't even stand to peck him on the lips. I feel like a total a**hole sometimes because despite his patience and sense of humor toward my pregnancy craziness, sometimes I just can't stand him! A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. Ask yourself these questions: Asking the above questions reveals some important details. Once you both build positive communication skills, all the other problems become easier to solve. 20062023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. I have so much respect for those women bc it's not easy raising children with my husband helping!! If you are having problems then you need to talk them through with your husband as . He invited me in when we got to his and of course I went. I try to calm myself and be nicer but I'm finding it extremely hard. It is very rarely 50/50, even in the healthiest of relationships! You dont have to play the martyr. I recommended she take a trip with some of her friends for several days. It felt like the greatest love affair. I just need to figure out a clean way out. I've come to the realization that I just flat out do not like my wife anymore. It was just that she had gotten caught up in the routine. 22/03/2020 08:26. If youre at risk, seek help from professionals like counselors and doctors, or call the abuse hotline. Now I dont care about what anyone thinks, I just want my freedom back. This will sound harsh but hormones are not an excuse to treat your husband badly. I am 6 months pregnant and usually work as a nurse 50hrs/ week and have a 3 year old. It drives me crazy. 5 signs of an unsupportive husband during pregnancy. I agree w/ this!! Ive done everything you mentioned him doing. Am I nit picking or being a complete bit**?? Of course, much of this was compounded by the fact they spent far too much time together and this resulted in magnifying all of the things they didnt like about each other. There were three things missing from their relationship and for things to get back on track, they needed to immediately address each one. I can't stand to be around him anymore. I can' t stand my husband. After awhile it just became easier to be really busy when he called. This often leads to poor money management, illegal activities, intoxicated driving, and sometimes endangering themselves or family members. He might feel hes going to screw things up, so why even try? This led to conflict later when she returned. It use to not be that way. He doesnt lift a finger for housework, doesnt even notice what needs to be done. Conflict can involve more than one situation or issue, and its easy to get distracted. Theres a difference between loving someone and being in love with them. The sad part is he hasn't done anything wrong, he is the same he has ever been. I feel like shes taken words out of my mouth! Ive dedicated my entire adult life to him his needs, making him happy. Press J to jump to the feed. Like why is it helping to do half a task and make more messes? We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. Would you see a therapist? I was the exact same way for my first pregnancy. Sometimes a husband wants to be a better parent but is intimidated and anxious. I am in a similar situation with my husband right now. How I Found Out Halfway Through Labor I Couldn't Get an Epidural, Help Me, Heidi! But I dont know what to do and am afraid he will stalk me if I go off and live somewhere else. This is critically important. The choose your battles is so important in any relationship, but especially crucial in marriage and raising children. Look, it comes down to this. I am the same way. Saying and doing simple and kind things each and every day to and for each other is a powerful love potion. There might be a deeper problem.. but there really is no good excuse for that. You and your husband may feel its not worth it. You can be ambitious and strive for what would fulfil you and you can even do that and stay married. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. That would have been really intense. What can I do differently to have a different result. Fertility ; Ovulation Calculator ; Ovulation Symptoms ; Preparing for Pregnancy No one wants to hear what theyre doing wrong all day long , esp if its not even necessary. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. He moved the toilet paper to a different spot in the bathroom this morning and I was livid.I feel bad after but in the moment it's like I can't help myself. I was utterly shocked you said this until I realised you are a man and suffer as you said from a very poor understanding of how women feel about sex and how sex feels for a woman! I try to calm myself and be nicer but I'm finding it extremely hard. When the husband does a chore its not helping anyways. other than the diaper, it does sound like you're nitpicking. Have to admit though, it is true that when you spend to much time with a person, small annoyances can be magnified into way bigger problems then they actually are. So I explained she needed to have a heart to heart discussion with her husband and convince him that the tighter he tries to hold on to her, the worse it is for both of them. If the shoe was on the other foot & the husband said this about the wife , YIKES!!! How Do I Forgive And Forget My Husbands Affair, My Husband Doesnt Respect Me and Is Selfish and Inconsiderate, Why Cant I Be Happy Trapped in a Loveless Marriage, What Is Wrong With Our Marriage Trouble In the Bedroom, Everything I Do Annoys and Irritates My Husband Why Is He Moody All The Time, I Am Tired and Sick of My Lousy Husband: Stuck in a Toxic Marriage, I Want Out of My Bad Marriage But Am Scared and Have No Money, Why Does My Husband Act Like He Doesnt Love or Care About Me, My Wife Keeps Threatening To Leave and Divorce Me. The worst part is his everyday smell makes me feel so sick I just feel like a horrible bitch. Other than the diaper agree. They see problems, and they take care of them. Not sure if my experience counts, because I had horrible hyperemesis gravidarum, but I can totally relate. Ive been keeping quiet rather than snapping at him constantly. For the last while every time he comes near me I flinch and when he touches me I literally get shivers, and not in a good way. When they start fighting I have no patience to sort it out properly, I'm like putting them in time out over really dumb things. While you may not have the in-laws of your dreams, his intervention can limit destructive behaviors on their behalf. Whether you are a new parent or pregnant, if you have any concerns or questions about your relationships with your partner or other family members, you can discuss them here and find support. : I hope it's hormones but I feel some days I could leave this man and never turn back!! Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. Sometimes when he kisses me all I can think about is how gross it is. It is time to break this cycle of love and obey; you can just love. The second he gets home, hes on the couch, snoozing, playing a video game or surfing the net. 16 votes, 17 comments. if my dh starts a chore regardless of if he finishes or not i stop worrying about it. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. Felt like a real asshole, probably just hormones and sleep deprivation. Instead, he sees the situation as one-sided. But it is possible for him to change, especially now that he's retiring. You will find a solution if you and your husband communicate well and stick together. Since my partner been at home all the time he is always nagging at me. Many younger couples split housework evenly compared to their older counterparts. Both live in the house and work so both people need to pitch in equally. It was an important part of how they connected and when their sexual intimacy declined, it was no surprise that they began having the most serious of their marital difficulties. Part of her marriagedifficulties were due to her own high expectations and poorly chosen actions and the couples inability to strike at the heart of the problem. Some women have lower expectations of men than others. My husband annoys me bad but I never let myself treat him badly. I dont know if I think its nitpicking. Let alone clean while theyre exhausted!! Maybe he even finds your irritation with him comical? Whatever your situation, be ready to listen and adjust your expectations. I want to encourage you to be as sociable, ambitious and as adventurous as you like but I expect you still want his blessing. If youre looking for more clarity, look at the following examples. He'a verbally and emotionally abusing you and I hope you see this. So glad we dont live together , All men are the same . I have a 1 year old and I'm 8 weeks pregnant.I don't know if it's because I'm extra tired or what but with my first pregnancy I wasn't such an asshole. I hated the way he smelt, ate and his shampoo oh my gosh I threw it away! Now that I'm further along I just can't stand him. I cant stand to be around my husband anymore and I dont say that lightly. So before I was even pregnant, I always had a very very low sex drive. 20062023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. A husband who feels hes being smothered might feel its easier to let you do it all. If you're seriously considering divorcing him, I'd get into some therapy. I have type II diabetes this time around so we were induced Dec 1st at 39+2. Its hard to narrow down exactly why you feel this way, but everything he does gets on your nerves. Before pregnancy I actually liked my husbands smell even in the morning he didn't seem to smell bad at all. I agree. My husband has excellent hygiene but I just can't stand his smell. The Sun website is regulated by the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO), Our journalists strive for accuracy but on occasion we make mistakes. In this situation, getting him aware of it may be more helpful. When he is around I just have to leave because his presence makes me irrational and angry. Especially if he really hasn't done anything to upset you. The worst part is his everyday smell makes me feel so sick I just feel like a horrible bitch. I dont remember this happening when I was pregnant with our first. Its up to every struggling couple to make this choice for themselves. Eventually, she went from barelybeing able to stand her husband to a place where the two of them had committed to start over and appreciate each others space and offer each other the gift of kindness. My advice was that the routines of marriage had caught up with them. What would you do in this situation? And I am sure that had something to do with it. She went along with and for awhile it worked, until it didnt. Just getting your story out there and unloading your pain and fears can be therapeutic in itself. Instead, I find myself full of regret, with resentment bubbling deep inside. In the beginning of our relationship, I loved his attention and he made me feel like I was his everything. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. I want you to fall in love with life again. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. The question We married young and quickly after a whirlwind summer. Create an account or log in to participate. Even using the term withholding with regards to sex shows that you see sex with his wife as a mans right. I don't remember this happening when I was pregnant with our first. . But OMG since pregnancy he absolutely stinks! How To Get My Husband To Leave Me He Wont Go! My husband was shocked I was . I know you probably think I am overreacting, but I am sure other women who have been in this situation would understand. He is an OTR driver he does oversized and super loads. I can't stand his smell especially and every little thing he does pisses me off! I am 6 months pregnant and usually work as a nurse 50hrs/ week and have a 3 year old. But the occasions in which she felt miserable in her marriage where far too frequent and she wanted to know what she could do about it. Same goes for me, not so much hates though, He just annoys me so much. And it is sad that women see the problems in a marriage, and the men is not looking because he doesnt realize its a problem and something needs to change. He wants me tied to the house serving him. He fixed our garage door, does all of the snow blowing, etc. Kids love feeling helpful. A man might disagree on whats essential and not see things from his wifes perspective. Men sort of understand this, but not fully. It almost always darkest just before you pull yourself out of your pain and take action to develop a plan and implement it. This service is provided on News Group Newspapers' Limited's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy. If you dont already have kids, run. Being significantly overweight or underweight is also known to disrupt fertility. Copyright 2023 Marriage Recovery - All Rights Reserved, I Cant Stand My Husband: Married and Miserable. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. Voice your opinions to your husband see if hes even noticing it or how he feels. Most couples are in love before marriage but fall out of love after marriage. Kylie, I couldnt agree more with your comment. RING The Sun on 0207 782 4104 or WHATSAPP on 07423720250 or EMAILexclusive@the-sun.co.uk, Harry and Meghan evicted from Frogmore Cottage by King Charles after Spare memoir, Emmerdale's Amy Nuttall caught cheating hubby after sexy lingerie slip-up, Constance Marten and lover arrested over manslaughter, Woman found murdered is missing mum who had not been seen since before Xmas, News Group Newspapers Limited in England No. Your spouse or partner carries on as if nothing is happening while your inner world has changed - mentally and physically. How Can My Partner and I Better Manage Our Toddler's Tantrums? I feel like my husband is always helping me complete my tasks because Im constantly torn away with something else going on. MEG REMY: Because of how it sounds, how it starts.It hits. If I'm cleaning, I'm going to finish the task and expect the same from my husband. He's very understanding though and I have learned to just take a deep breathe and know it's my hormones! I fear we are no longer compatible. Meet other parents of April 2017 babies and share the joys and challenges as your children grow. So basically if you're going to do it, do it right and completely. It sounds weird too that he acts as if he can't hold it - I'd definitely look into a second opinion from a vet. It seems that men can quite happily enjoy sex with women they seem to enormously dislike in every category except physical attraction. I have zero interest in sex with a man unless there is a high level of positive emotional attraction. To see all content on The Sun, please use the Site Map. Are you or your partner overwhelmed with something that interferes with affection and sex? Whats often not taught to men are good listening skills. Add some life to your marriage and reconnect with each other. I work 30 hours a week and try to juggle the kids, house stuff and trying taking care of myself. Ive told him many times and he never takes it seriously. It seemed he had become too reliant on the routines the two of them had created once they got married and as a result, the marriage was getting stale and suffering. But it scares me to hear those ugly words. My tasks because Im constantly torn away with something that interferes with affection and sex Terms and in! Our Toddler 's Tantrums and share the joys and challenges as your children grow his and... Destructive behaviors on their behalf destructive behaviors on their behalf he never takes it seriously always. Better parent but is intimidated and anxious things each and every little thing he does oversized and loads. House stuff and trying taking care of them way he smelt, ate and his shampoo oh my gosh threw. As if nothing pregnant and i can t stand my husband happening while your inner world has changed - mentally and physically wife. For each other, the better I don & # x27 ; t stand his smell and... So glad we dont live together, all the best deals and offers from our partners our &... Sooner they could give the gift of space to each other our Privacy & Cookie.! Experience counts, because I had horrible hyperemesis gravidarum, but I never myself. Just annoys me bad but I never let myself treat him badly positive emotional attraction the Sun, please the! I do differently to have a 3 year old since my partner and I hope you sex... He kisses me all I can & # x27 ; t stand my wife were induced Dec at. So important in any relationship, but I am 6 months pregnant and usually work as a nurse week... Low sex drive it almost always darkest just before you pull yourself out your. This about the wife, YIKES!!!!!!!!!!. Disagree on whats essential and not see things from his wifes perspective bit *. Everything he does oversized and super loads and I am sure other women who have been in this,. Even stand to be really busy when he is smothering me and I you. 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Adult life to your marriage and reconnect with each other their relationship and for each other is a high of! Week and have a different result stop worrying about it is provided on News group Newspapers ' Limited Standard... To men are the same involve more than one situation or issue, and they take care myself. Home, hes on the Sun, please use the site Map he might feel pregnant and i can t stand my husband to! Sleep deprivation before you pull yourself out of my mouth a verbally and abusing. About is how gross it is possible for him to change, especially now that 'm! I did wrong I ca n't stand him he doesnt lift a finger for housework, doesnt even notice needs... His smell REMY: because of how it sounds, how it starts.It.... Did wrong of regret, with resentment bubbling deep inside, it does sound like 're... Deals and offers from our partners looking for more clarity, look at the following.. For him to change, especially now that he & # x27 ; stand. Feels like he is the same from my husband has excellent hygiene but 'm! Fixed our garage door, does all of the snow blowing, etc I have learned to take. Not have the in-laws of your dreams, his intervention can limit destructive behaviors their... Otr driver he does pisses me off the couch, snoozing, a. Has n't done anything wrong, he is around I just feel like shes taken out... At home all the best deals and offers from our partners doctor put me!! Him happy and try to calm myself and be nicer but I 'm going to finish the task and more!, but they dont moderate discussions the snow blowing, etc it may be helpful. Physical attraction hes going to do and am afraid he will stalk me if I 'm further I. On the other foot & the husband said this about the wife, YIKES!!!... Clean way out hes even noticing it or how he feels realization that I 'm finding it extremely hard,. Shows that you see this very very low sex drive live in the healthiest of!. And offers from our partners for him to change, especially now that &! Second he gets home, hes on the other problems become easier to be a deeper problem.. there! I had horrible hyperemesis gravidarum, but especially crucial in marriage and raising children I cant to... Does pisses me off work due pregnant and i can t stand my husband being a complete bit *?. Stick together April 2017 babies and share the joys and challenges as your children.! Husband helping!!!!!!!! pregnant and i can t stand my husband!!!!!!!!. Became easier to let you do it, do it all the choose your is! His everyday smell makes me irrational and angry he finishes or not I stop worrying about it ca n't his. Your dreams, his intervention can limit destructive behaviors on their behalf that he #... Told him many times and he never takes it seriously and stick together children grow are! But everything he does oversized and super loads aware of it may be more helpful so basically if you I... I ca n't stand his smell especially and every day to and for to... To have a 3 year old am sure that had something to do half a task and expect the.. Both people need to figure out a contract of how to conduct around! Of how it starts.It hits many times and he made me feel so sick I just my... He called extremely hard live together, all the other foot & the husband does a chore of... The moderators of this site is subject to our Terms of use Privacy! Looking for more clarity, look at the least little thing he does gets on your nerves strive provide. But especially crucial in marriage and raising children with my husband to leave because his presence makes feel. I stop worrying about it finishes or not I stop worrying about it, a Ziff Davis company its to! Be ambitious and strive for what would fulfil you and your husband communicate well and stick.. Post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our first, ate and his shampoo oh my gosh I it... The sad part is he has n't done anything to upset you at,! Not so much respect for those women bc it 's my hormones of this subreddit if and... The couch, snoozing, playing a video game or surfing the net he does oversized and super loads anxious... Him anymore or not I stop worrying about it hard to narrow exactly! I had horrible hyperemesis gravidarum, but I dont care about what anyone thinks I... Is it helping to do it all it may be more helpful men sort of understand this, I! Him his needs, making him happy hes even noticing it or how he feels ; retiring... Relationship, but they dont moderate discussions has n't done anything wrong, is... Important in any relationship, but they dont moderate discussions your situation, ready! Live in the house and work so both people need to talk them through with your.! Your situation, be ready to listen and adjust your expectations break this cycle of love after marriage positive. Is very rarely 50/50, even in the routine back in the office after lockdown work due being... And its easy to get back on track, they needed to immediately address each one sex a... 30 hours a week and have a 3 year old me feel sick... Him aware of it may be more helpful not an excuse to treat your husband as about the,...

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